


Sounds

by merentha13



Category: The Professionals
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-05
Updated: 2011-09-05
Packaged: 2017-10-23 10:35:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/249345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merentha13/pseuds/merentha13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A bit of angst.<br/>Written for a DIALJ challenge</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sounds

**Author's Note:**

> an attempt at a dialogue style fic

“No! Stop! No!”  
The panicked sounds from the bed snapped Doyle out of his doze. He watched as blue eyes opened and took in their surroundings. He waited until Bodie’s breathing returned to normal.  
“Welcome back.”  
“Bloody hell, Doyle. How long this time?”  
“Two days.”  
Silence.  
“Go away, Ray.”  
“Not likely.”  
“Don’t need you here.”  
“I know that.”  
“Don’t want you here either.”  
“Know that too.”  
“So what are you doin’ here then?”  
“Waiting for a bus.”  
No laughter.  
“Really, Ray. Why are you here?” Bodie’s words resonated with defeat.  
“I owe you.”  
“You never...”  
“You sat vigil for me, Bodie, brought me back... saved me. ‘m just returnin’ the favour.”  
Ray watched as Bodie drifted back into sleep. It didn’t matter what Bodie wanted or didn’t want. There was no way Ray was going to leave him here in hospital alone.

*****  
The job had been a success, but a costly one. There were four villains who would threaten Queen and country no more. Two CI5 agents, including Bodie, had been badly injured. The reporter, who had tipped them off and then had got in the way, had paid the ultimate price for his curiosity.

The ruffling of pages turning greeted Bodie as he woke again.  
“You still here?”  
“Apparently.”  
“You look terrible.”  
“Ta.”  
“What are you reading?”  
“Reporter’s notes... Jax found Mallard’s notebook in the warehouse.”  
“Ah, the duck that didn’t...”  
They both sniggered.  
Ray felt a twinge of guilt for laughing at the poor reporter’s fate, but he relaxed a bit too. If Bodie’s dark humour was returning, the man was healing.  
Now if they could only heal the ache that existed between them.

The steady echo of the rain hitting the hospital window lulled him into a reflective mood. Why had it all gone wrong? They’d been so good together; until that conversation late that night in Bodie’s kitchen, until he’d ruined it by pushing...

“It’s not enough for me anymore, Bodie!” Ray hated the pleading, desperate tone in his voice.  
“We agreed, right from the start...”  
Bodie radiated impatience.  
“I need more.”  
“Why, Ray? It’s good innit?”  
“It’s brilliant. That’s why... ah, bloody hell, Bodie! I lo...”  
“Don’t! Don’t say it.”  
Now there was anger.  
Bodie pushed Ray away and turned his back.  
“I love you, Bodie and I won’t apologize for that. It’s become more than just sex for me.”  
There was a stifling silence.  
“I can’t give you what you want, Ray.”  
“Can’t or won’t?”  
“Doesn’t really matter, does it?”  
“That’s it then?”  
Bodie turned back to face him.  
“That’s up to you, Ray. Nothing needs to change.” Bodie sounded almost hopeful.  
“Too late for that. I’ve changed.”  
Hope died.  
Ray picked up his jacket. Bodie winced at the crash of the door as it closed on the best thing in his life.

***  
It should have been a simple clean-up operation. Jeremy Mallard, a reporter for the “Times”, had received information about a gun cache that was going to be sold to the IRA. He had approached Cowley hoping to be allowed in on the bust. Cowley had taken the information, but made it clear that Mallard was to stay away. Cowley would make sure that Mallard received an exclusive interview afterwards.

CI5 arrived at the warehouse about an hour before the sale was to take place. Bodie was in charge of the operation and took station on a scaffold over the front entrance. Doyle and the rest of the agents were spread out around the derelict building. The gunrunners arrived a bit early and began to unpack their wares. Mallard, ignoring Cowley’s instructions, tried to sneak into the warehouse through a side door. He was spotted by both CI5 and the villains.

The reverberation of gunshots brought Doyle out of his hiding place behind a stack of crates in time to see Bodie fall from the scaffold. The rest of the operation was a blur to him. He walked through it as if on auto-pilot. The gunrunners were rounded up, Mallard was dead and Bodie...

“Bodie!”  
Ray knelt down next to his partner. His stomach clenched in fear. The blue eyes were open.  
“Did we get ‘em all?” Bodie’s voice was barely a whisper.  
“’Course we did. This was your op wasn’t it?”  
“Well that’s all right then.”  
Bodie managed a weak smile.  
Ray carefully checked Bodie for injuries.  
“What hurts, sunshine? Did you get shot?”  
“Nah, they missed. Lost my balance and fell. Head hurts.”  
Bodie tried to sit up.  
“Keep still. You’re probably concussed. Better let the medics make sure there are no other injuries before you move.”  
“Yeah. Ray, I...”  
“What?”  
Silence.  
“Bodie. Bodie!”  
But Bodie didn’t regain consciousness for two days.

***

The nightmare woke Bodie. The room was dark. The sound of soft rhythmic breathing near his left ear let him know he wasn’t alone. Ray was still there and had fallen asleep with his head resting next to Bodie’s on the pillow. The rest of the contorted body was still sprawled in the orange plastic chair.  
“Ray?”  
“hmmm?”  
“You awake?”  
“I am now.”  
Ray made no move to sit up.  
“Ray?”  
“What?”  
“Did you mean it... what you said?”  
“That I love you?”  
Ray had no trouble guessing where Bodie’s thoughts were going. Almost dying made you rethink some of your most dearly held beliefs.  
“Yeah, that.”  
Ray sat up and looked at him.  
“Prat, of course I meant it, wouldn’t have said it otherwise.” Exasperation rang through his words.  
“I have been a prat, and worse. Ray... thanks.”  
Ray looked puzzled.  
“For what?”  
“For staying with me... for not leaving.”  
“Couldn’t leave you, Bodie. Flawed or perfect, you’re all I’ve got. Learned that these last few days, didn’t I?”  
Ray looked down at his hands, his sadness resonating between them.  
“Sunshine?”  
Bodie reached out and put his hand around the back of Ray’s neck. He pulled him into a gentle kiss. Against Ray’s lips he said “I lied to you.” He rested his forehead on his partner’s. “It’s more than the sex for me too. I was just too afraid to admit it to you... to myself. Forgive me, please?”  
“Ah, you dumb crud!” Ray sat up and took hold of Bodie’s shoulders, gently squeezing them. He moved a hand to caress Bodie’s cheek. “I’ve missed you.”  
“You’ll take me back then?” Delight lit Bodie’s eyes as he realized he was forgiven.  
“Have to don’t I? No one else would have you.”


End file.
